Small penises have feelings too.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize