if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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