Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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