# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just puked most of my soul out..
that may or may not have been my penis.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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