Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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