Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize