i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
