bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
