My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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