he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
