I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
