Dual....:-)
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
