I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
