please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize