Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
