Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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