I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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