At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
