What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
