Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Randomize
