you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
