thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
