i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
