Will you blow on my dice?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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