how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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