NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
