These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
