69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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