this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
