your thong is hanging out like whoa
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
