Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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