I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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