she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
