im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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