so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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