I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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