I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
