Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
