then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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