like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
