Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize