no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize