Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it because I queefed?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
