when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize