Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am one with the molecules
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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