wrigley field is MILF paradise
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
