i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
