Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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