It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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