I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize