Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
