I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
