what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
