i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
