I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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