I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize