looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
