The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize