Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Randomize
