I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
