You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize