I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
