YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
