so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
