Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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