we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
These tits shall not be calmed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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