i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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