If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
